Saturday, December 20, 2008

start spreadin' the news...


yay i'm leaving in about two and a half hours! i'll be visiting new york, new jersey, massachusetts, rhode island, connecticut, and pennsylvania! hopefully i shall find a future college that i like AND will accept me. :(

what totally blows about my trip is that school starts SO EARLY and i've only finished reading their eyes and journaling siddhartha. so DURING my trip :((( i have to do 30 journal entries and read franken & sidd. sheesh!

i'll be back on the 28th so i'll see everyone on the first day of school!! (boo!!!)

btw. does anyone know where i can find a button pin maker? 'cuz jee, mod & i went in search of one and neither joanns nor michaels has one! also. jee took us to eat korean food, and the "tea" was broth, and the "water" was tea! i was lost. gotta love my chinese food! mm mmm good :)

Saturday, November 29, 2008

gotta love technology

ok so today during workshop jee, mod, and i set up the refrigerator! there are great magnets mod made and signs we have to keep NONPUBLICATIONERS (aka VIDEOTECH!) out. ha! and after i had lunch at a new japanese curry house next to in n out. it was so good! but kinda expensive. ANYWAY, after i went on a backpack frenzy. i went to tilly's and there were two i wanted, but one looked better but cost $13 more. so since i just couldn't handy is it that i have a camera phone? now i understand the point of these things! i took a picture of both and sent it to my mom and made her pick for me! yay :)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Shit Stories

Once upon a time when I was at school there was this chap called Hans.
He was a burly brute and he proudly did a monolithic turd of such great magnitude it shut down the toilets for a week.

Someone had blocked the bog with toilet paper. He then proudly crafted his very own Cleopatra's needle which I swear to you was more then a foot long. The circumference at the base was at least 7" which tapered off as the poo ascended skywards with uncanny precision. Everyone saw this "creation" before the area was cordoned off.

The school caretakers refused to tackle the problem. A week later a sort of biohazard environmental team came to make the area safe again.

And did I mention the smell.........Unholy.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Big Fat Shit

2 years ago in our office, we got a new programmer. To reeinforced stereotypes of programmers, as seen in The Simpsons when Homer gets disability allowance, this guy was huge. About 5'8", but with a body that would make Rik Waller look svelte. We worked on the second floor, so he came in everyday knackered from making it up the stairs (in which time, no one else could use them) and it took 2 hours for his breathing to return to normal.

Our toilet cubicles are 3ft x 6ft x 8ft. One of my colleagues was amazed one morning when he saw the guy struggling out of one of them. As they passed each other, he noticed a strong whiff, but put it down to being a fat bloke who's had to climb stairs. He then turned to look in the cubicle and promptly through up. The back wall, bowl and fittings were completely covered, up to a height of 4ft on the wall, in runny shite.

The toilet was closed for 2 days. The fat guy resigned the day after.

Friday, October 10, 2008


At the end of a messy evening I found myself crashed out around my friends house with a few other pissed twats - most notably, 2 girls.

After drunken banter we all started to fall asleep, until one of the group loudly farted. Naturally the whole room errupted with laughter, save one of the girls screaming "That's disgusting!", to which my friend leaped up, pushed his y-front covered arse next to her face and visibly strained. He got much more than he bargained for and what the poor girl saw was a small turd poking at his pants like a midgets erection.

I believe he is still single.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Summer fruit salsa

When I was in cooking school the teachers taught us that "fat is flavour." While it is true that nothing can replace the heavenly rich mouth-feel of ice cream, creme brulee, buttercream icing, or savory gravies and demi sauces finished with butter, duck confit, seared foie gras, rillettes...I can just imagine my arteries hardening at the thought of all of that fat.

Fat in moderation is great, but you can't eat like that every day. With summer almost in full swing here in Vancouver, more fresh seasonal produce are available at the local farm markets now. This is a tasty fruit salsa I made as an accompaniment for seared cod fish. I added diced cantaloupe, tomatoes, and avocado with green onions, blueberries, and parsley with a little bit of olive oil and a good squeeze of fresh lemon juice. Who says low fat can't also equal good flavour?